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How to Stop Getting Zapped By Static

You just wanted to shuffle across the room in your pajamas and bunny slippers, but when you go to reach for the door knob… you get shocked! What gives!? What causes this strange effect?

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Sources:
http://farside.ph.utexas.edu/teaching/302l/lectures/node12.html
https://books.google.com/books?id=PZlzAwAAQBAJ&pg=PA513#v=onepage&q&f=false
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https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2763825/
http://ajcn.nutrition.org/content/37/5/735.abstract
https://www.theweathernetwork.com/news/articles/for-science-why-are-static-shocks-so-bad-during-the-winter/45942
http://www.physicsclassroom.com/class/estatics/Lesson-2/Charging-by-Friction
http://news.wisc.edu/in-static-friction-chemistry-is-key-to-stronger-bonds/
https://www.researchgate.net/figure/256663678_fig2_Figure-2-Typical-transient-charge-distribution-in-the-model-at-t-30-Charge-separation
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http://www.tau.ac.il/~colin/courses/AtmosElec/Saunders%20Charge%20Separation%20SSR%202008%20%281%29.pdf

Images:
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Thunderstorm_formation.jpg

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